4.1: Listening vs. Hearing

“Are you listening to me?” You may have been asked this question because the speaker thinks you are nodding off or daydreaming. Many of us mistakenly think of listening as a “passive” activity.  We think we need to sit there and let words wash over us. Yet the reality is different. Effective listening demands active participation.

In our sender-oriented society, listening is often overlooked as an important part of the communication process. Yet research shows that adults spend about 45 percent of their time listening, which is more than any other communicative activity. In some contexts, we spend even more time listening than that. On average, workers spend 55 percent of their workday listening, and managers spend about 63 percent of their day listening (Hargie, 2011).

The adage, “We have two ears but only one mouth,” is an important reminder that listening is often even more important than talking. Yet many of us think that listening is the same thing as hearing and therefore put very little effort into the process. The reality is quite different.

Listening vs. Hearing

Hearing is an automatic brain response to sound that requires no effort. Most of the time, we are surrounded by sounds, such as airplanes, lawnmowers, furnace blowers, the rattling of pots and pans, and so on. We hear those incidental sounds, and unless we have a reason to do otherwise, we train ourselves to ignore them. We learn to filter out sounds that mean little to us, just as we choose to hear our ringing phones and other sounds that are more important to us.

Listening, on the other hand, is purposeful and focused rather than accidental. As a result, it requires motivation and effort. Listening is active, focused, concentrated attention for the purpose of understanding the meanings expressed by a speaker. We do not always listen at our best; later in this chapter, we will examine some of the reasons and strategies for becoming more active critical listeners.

Benefits of Listening

Today, you can gain a great deal of information and entertainment through reading and electronic recordings rather than through real-time listening. If you become distracted and let your attention wander, you can go back and replay a recording. However, much of what we need to hear at work and in our personal relationships isn’t recorded and can’t be replayed. There are many benefits to listening effectively and competently in real-time, including the five compelling benefits discussed in the next paragraph.

Since listening is a primary means through which we learn new information, good listening skills help us complete tasks effectively at home, at work or school, and get things done in general. Second, when we listen attentively to others, we are showing support for them; thus, effective listening helps us build and maintain satisfying relationships with those who are important to us. Third, listening to what others say about us helps us develop an accurate self-concept, which can help us put our best foot forward and communicate our identity in the best way possible. Fourth, effective listening skills can help us be better students and more successful professionals. Finally, effective listening can help us improve our public speaking skills. Clearly, effective listening has many benefits.

References

Hargie, O. (2011). Skilled interpersonal interaction: Research, theory, and practice (pp. 189-99). Routledge.